September 6, 2013

Despite knowing a lot of movies could be eligible for such a bunch, I only considered some of those who have crossed my path. It's what we call a meaningless, stupid list.

1. 'Mamma Mia' (2008)
When I first heard about this movie, I went into a state of chock. Seeing my dear, dandy Pierce Brosnan jumping up and down while singing (very poorly) 'S.O.S.' and reputable Meryl Streep doing 'Waterloo' in shiny platform shoes was like seeing my parents having sex: I really don't need these emotional scars. I've seen some glimpses of the movie that allow me to have an eternal heartache.

2. 'Glitter' (2001)
Not knowing that much about music, I still have true respect for a woman famed for her five-octave vocal range and a passive-agressive resilience towards newbie Nicki Minaj, but this movie/tribute to the queen of charts Mariah Carey seems to have been a waste of film. With poor performances and a story that seems to be way more syrupy than Bambi's mother death, who can really watch it?

3. 'Jack and Jill' (2011)
After Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence or Robin Williams, here's Adam Sandler doing drag. And a pretty lousy one, it seems. Honestly, I wasn't really expecting this cheap trick from a guy who can actually be funny just by standing there so, no, I don't want to see this.

4. 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' (2009)
I've committed the awful mistake of seeing the first movie. Seems this one is equally bad, with dialogues involving words like "decepticon" and "autobot", confusing action sequences, people running like crazy and Megan Fox's hot pants coming up in every chance they get. Seems they've done 2 more of these. I wonder who sees them?

5. 'The Fast and the Furious' (2001)
Seems strange to know this movie was made only 12 years ago. After that, they must have made 50 movies revolving around the same thing: fast, blinged out cars and girls in reduced outfits. I strongly believe I would write a love letter to Clay Aiken before watching this movie.

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